Dear Lynn-Advice from a S/O

Order questions Newest / Oldest first.

Dear Lynn and Meg,
I am writing to introduce myself as a 70 year old crossdresser.

Living in Savannah, GA, I am wondering of you have any members who live close to me on this side of the state?

It gets lonely doing this by myself.

Thanks for all your great work.


Dear Leona,

Sigma epsilon security guidelines prevent me from providing specific details of current members. but there are a few members who live down that way.

I would suggest posting an introduction and inquire about members down that way on the sigma website. I'm sure someone would be receptive.

Hugs and best of luck.

Dear Lynn and Meg,
I would love some advice , on how to come out and tell my wife of 37 years that I have a strong passion for crossdressing . I don't want to shock her and am afraid she will leave ,but I would rather just come out and tell her before she comes home one day and finds me all dressed up. I'm am torn on how to go about this and run different scenarios through my head every day,. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Thank you in advance
Barbara Conti

I'm thinking that this is the most asked question ,please help I don't know where to turn any more
Barbara Conti

Dear Barbara Conti,
I would advise that you tell her before she finds out in an 'accidental' way. I sort of found out by accident because I saw a large expenditure at Frederick's of Hollywood, then I searched his 'man-cave' and found a dozen or more articles of lingerie. I wasn't going to say anything, but he knew his 'stash' had been disturbed and in his heart he wanted to tell me about this for some time. We had a wonderful 'first of many' talks. My spouse has a deep understanding of his/her own psyche and his/her desire to express femme. She is able to articulate these matters intelligently and calmly.

I would suggest you spend some time in your own head and heart and think about what you want to say instead of going in blindly. Consider how she may react and are you willing to respect some of her hesitancy if she has any? For example, if she prefers you don't dress in her presence, are you willing to honor that or at least give her time to adjust? This news to a wife who is not expecting it can be extremely shocking, even devastating. Be calm, understanding....listen to her feelings. Often wives come around and are very accepting. Our group can help greatly here! Most of our members are married and spouses are accepting - though there are different levels of that.

Feel free to call me or my spouse before you talk to her. And after - if she wants to talk, I'm happy to do so. Good hope to you!

Dear Barbara Conti,

My wife discovered my secret and I wished I had told her before that discovery. As Lynn stated you need to spend time thinking of the best way to approach the tipic, but you need to do it before she discovers on her own.

I would suggest you do some soul searching on why you do this,when it started.etc.


Dear Lynn,
I need/ want my wife to fully support my cross dressing but I am afraid she won’t. She knows that I would like to wear her clothes and other women’s clothes but I don’t believe she will take the next step. She was the one who asked me to wear pantyhose as it helped me with my leg circulation issues....I wear pantyhose almost 24/7 and she fully supports this. I want to wear bras, panties, makeup, etc. with her full support and do I get her there?

Is there a Savannah, GA chapter of Tri-Ess

Dear Paul68 ,
Yours will be a journey with your wife that will take time, patience and a lot of communication and there is no guarantee that your wife will support your desire to express your feminine persona, but many loving wives do understand the complex nature of these needs and there's a lot of support in joining a tri-ess group as well as other outside resources. There are several recommended books*, but the one I keep hearing is so great (I have not read it yet) is "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd available on Amazon at this link: There are others, but do read the reviews.

I believe our Atlanta group is the closest for you, however, we have several members in your area and some that come from northern Florida so it may be worth your while to visit. Our outreach chairman, Rhonda Lee is also a great contact for you. I hope this is helpful - Kelley and I are still in this journey and there are ups and downs, but I'm happy to share with you in any way I can.

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*these two books by Peggy Rudd come even more highly recommended by our experienced members: “My Husband Wears My Clothes” and “Crossdressing With Dignity”.

My name is Lynn and I'm the spouse of a crossdresser. We're in our mid-sixties, married for 36 years. I only discovered my spouse's crossdressing six years ago. She has very well-articulated ideas about crossdressing and other aspects of the transgender spectrum and we've had many long talks about it. My spouse is my best friend and the love of my life. We're in this together and it's a journey with some hiccups but mostly a great ride with a lot of shared joys. I've met some wonderful people through Sigma Epsilon and have formed strong friendships. If I can be of assistance to other spouses, I am happy to help.